Amazing Grace!


On the first of November, 2013, Evangelist Duke preached on the grace of God at my local assembly.

I never really understood what grace is. I was told it was the unmerited favor of God, but then I didn't really understand what favor was either. Again, dictionaries didn't help me much; I was missing something. I studied Romans 4: 16 & 17, but I think I ended up understanding what 'guarantee' meant, more than I understood grace. Honestly.

On this Sunday, he said "grace is the excessive goodness and kindness of God." I swear you could almost hear the wheels in my brain screech to a halt. EXCESSIVE GOODNESS AND KINDNESS?! There is really such a thing?! That sounded really weird in my hearing, maybe because goodness and kindness were concepts I had had very little experience of in my dealings with people in my life, and I could not imagine it being excessive.

Anybody that knew me eventually came to realize that I have "daddy issues", some of which will come up as I share stuff with you on this blog. He was not an evil man, he just had his demons to fight, as does everybody and I just happened to be in the line of fire and suffered much for it. I lived so many years projecting my dad on God which made relating to God, praying, or taking His word seriously extremely difficult for me. Anyways, in this sermon I finally saw a distinction between my dad and God. Grace was the distinction (not in the strictest terms, I mean, this is God we’re talking about! But you get the gist, I hope). I have heard a lot about grace, yet somehow never made the association between grace and God.

This is what struck me - God is excessively good and kind! This painted a very different picture of God than the one given me by my parents and preachers I grew up with - that God is eager to punish every little sin and is always on the lookout for my offences; that God is quick to place a curse on you if you do wrong. Actually, that's my dad, always threatening to curse us for the littlest offence. He's say, "I will curse you, and you will languish on the face of the earth forever!" Etc. All of it brought me to a point where I saw God as someone difficult, hard to relate with, ever looking for faults and will not keep His word concerning me since I mess up in a thousand different ways. 

I remember a time during my NYSC service year, nine years ago; I was praying, asking God for a second-hand (used) laptop. It was a big deal, and I could not in any way afford one. While I was praying, this thought came up within me, "why do I bother asking, it's not like He will give it to me." I heard it and froze, shocked that I had such an opinion of God. I certainly had it for my dad though. I felt really bad and asked Him to forgive me. Few months later I got a brand new laptop and I did not pay a dime for it! Not so long ago I had another episode. This time, I am even scared to write it. It was a whisper saying to me that I could count on God to not keep His word, more than I could count on Him to keep His word. That was defying God! That was calling Him a liar! It scared me when I heard it, and I quickly asked for mercy, and rebuked the voice.

Such suggestions found me because I had not understood grace, nor associated grace with God. I still saw God as One Who has so much, yet won't give me the little I was asking Him for. That's not God, that's me projecting my dad on God, again. It's really crazy, even stupid I know, but back then I was so messed up inside and only He knows just how bad it was and is, and how to fix me. He has loved me through thick and thin, how can I think such a thing about God? It still baffles me.

But grace! If grace is the excessive goodness and kindness of God, then it means my life can be different, can be sweet, in spite of what I've been through. I don't have to be a predictable statistic, and neither do you. If God is the God of grace, the giver of grace, and grace is all that, then I want to know this God, because this God is good, and kind - gracious - to me. I want to know Him, to experience Him, to know Him as Father, my Father. Because if this God of grace is my Father, then I am advantaged. It means I will make it life. It means I need not keep being afraid of failure or the future; I will succeed. If He gave a people under the law a covenant that prospered them and brought them health and wealth, then I am guaranteed greater in this life. I will be and will do all that is available to me in the grace of God.

Do you know that the Bible says, that those that receive the abundant provision of grace and the gift of righteousness will reign in life? Amazing, right?


I want this God, and I want this grace. Now! You?

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